How to Escape a Sinking Ship

We have an 8000 Dow and we ain't seen no bottom baby! The Ship of the Global State of Economic Affairs is a still a goin' on down to Davy Jones Locker.

In light of our plummet to the bottom of the economic ocean I thought this article to be apropos of the current non-state of economic affairs we are currently experiencing.

I discovered two years ago that there was a trillion dollars of bad debt that had infected every investment vehicle from money market funds,to bonds, to long/short hedge funds to commodities. I realized then that when this battleship of non existing assets sank it would sink like a cruise liner causing everything within its purview to be sucked down with it.

Here is something we all should read:


How to Escape a Sinking Ship

By eHow Travel Editor

Rate: (2 Ratings)

Hopefully, you'll never be faced with the need to escape a sinking cruise ship. Although today's ships have plenty of lifeboats for everyone on board, it helps to be prepared in the case of an emergency situation. Above all, listen to instructions from the ship's officers, and remain calm.

Things You’ll Need:

* Flashlight
* Sunscreen
* Water bottle

Before the Ship Departs
Step1
Make sure your cabin has it's own personal flotation device (PFD). Practice putting it on correctly. Check for the expiration date and have the PFD replaced if it has expired.
Step2
Locate the two nearest lifeboats from your room.
Step3
Store your emergency survival gear in the open with your PFD for easy access. Survival gear should include a flashlight, sunscreen and water bottle.
If the Ship Starts Sinking
Step1
Go to your cabin and get your PFD. If you have time, grab your survival gear.
Step2
Move calmly to your lifeboat and follow orders from the crew members in charge. Look for lights marking exits to the lifeboats.
Step3
Remain calm and do not jump into the water or onto the lower deck unless you have no other choice. Most ships sink slowly, so you should have lots of time to board a lifeboat.
If You have to Jump
Step1
Look before you leap. Do not jump onto other people, into a lifeboat, or onto a lower deck. Jump feet first as far from the boat as possible.
Step2
Swim away from the boat as soon as you hit water. The vacuum effect created as the ship goes down can suck you under. Get away from the ship quickly.
Step3
Improve your chances of survival by finding a lifeboat or something to float on as soon as possible.
Step4
Float with a group of other survivors for warmth and encouragement if no lifeboat is reachable.
Step5
Kick and punch anything that brushes you from below. If sharks come feeding, most will back off after being punched in the eyes or gills.